We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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