Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize