I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Everyone says I win the strip club
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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