Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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