Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
