When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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