I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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