someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
