Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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