I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
