I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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