then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
