if you like me you must not know who I am
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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