Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
