at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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