We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
