Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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