what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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