Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
