i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're a waste of cheezeits
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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