my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
