the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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