if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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