Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
sex in a hospital.. check
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
