Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
