I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Those nachos came to me in a dream
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
