Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
