Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
