Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
