my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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