My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
