Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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