i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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