I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
