found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
