Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
