Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
