i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
