I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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