Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
