OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
