ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Soap is not a condiment
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
