My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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