I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
