All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
