Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
