bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
where are my eyebrows?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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