So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize