Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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