i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
