Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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