Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
