the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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