We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize