I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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