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Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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