It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
