They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How naked do you want me to be?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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