Jerry, you need to find god
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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